Have you ever had the realization that you can completely alter the direction of your life with one simple decision? By choosing the path on the left, you completely forfeit the path on the right. It’s both a terrifying and thrilling idea.
At the moment, I am feeling extremely, up in the clouds, happy – like the world is at my fingertips. My realization is that maybe I can keep my travels open ended and forget about the deadline of my job in September. This idea has always been in the back of my head but it’s been a struggle to let loose. Traveling without a deadline or a plan is much riskier than traveling with guaranteed financial security at the end.
One side of me is holding onto a capitalistic mentality where I would be crazy to give up this career opportunity and the other believes that it doesn’t matter. I was unhappy for the majority of my public accounting internship, yet, I accepted a position with the company because it’s a “smart move” and will open up all kinds of doors. The thing is that I’m not sure they are the doors that I want opened. As I am discovering my passions, I am realizing that they do not necessarily lie in the business world.
I love the idea of the European gap year, a chance for young adults to travel and see the world before choosing what to study in university. If I had done a gap year, or this “sabbataycal,” earlier I doubt I would have chosen to study business. I am intrigued by people and relationships and languages and feel as though all of these interests would be ignored by spending my days reviewing numbers in a corporate office.
Anyway, what I want to say is that I’m realizing I am not stuck with this future – it’s not inevitable and this spark of possibility is invigorating. None of us are stuck and there is always the chance to switch paths. We just have to hold our breath and take a leap of faith.
Up until now, I have not been acting this way. Yes, I took a leap by taking time to travel but I am not living radically by allowing a job I’m not passionate about to affect my decisions. I am here in the beautiful, different, intriguing country of Morocco and yet have been stopping short of diving headfirst into the culture because of this looming September deadline.
The new goal is to forget about my old reality for the time being – to go with the flow and to see where this journey takes me; to be intentional in following up on opportunities and welcoming different possibilities. The whole idea of travel is to open up, learn, and grow. By continuing with the “it’s all over in September” mentality, I’m not necessarily getting the point and may miss out on some amazing chances.
I’m not sure where this all leads or what I’ll decide but for now I’m going to channel a “don’t worry, be happy” mentality – live life as it comes and enjoy each moment. The future always has a way of working itself out.
If you made it this far into my musings, thank you very much (shokran bzzaf) for reading! Please leave a comment if you can relate to how I’m feeling or if you have anything to add. If you’re my mother, please don’t worry, I’m going to figure it all out in time.